How this stuff connects to "Anxiety"
My experience leads me to conclude that anxiety is a direct function of these biomechanics.
It was the summer of 2014 and I was about two months into my job in Vietnam at Lazada, which was kind of the ‘Amazon of SE Asia’ at the time.
A few weeks previous I had moved from the senior commercial role i’d been hired into to a lower product management role because I had a thick brain fog that had completely drained my ability to do almost anything.
Even though it was far more junior a role I felt like I had anxiety all of the time. In part because of the thick brain fog, which prevented me from being able to recall things.
And so when you can’t think on your feet and you’re on a call with others it can be pretty embarrassing because you are at a high risk of sounding pretty stupid.
Therefore I had anxiety anytime I needed to speak on a group call with others. Especially if there were senior people on the call.
My refuge before such calls was to hang out in a bathroom stall in the men’s bathroom. Note that it was an absolutely disgusting bathroom in an old building (COPAC in District 4 of Saigon).
The floor was always wet because they used hoses instead of toilet paper and I have a feeling a lot of the expats didn’t know how to use the hose very well. lol
Anyway, I would hang out in this bathroom stall for 20-30 minutes prior to such group calls. It was the only way i could stay calm. Because if i was in the office with everyone else, I’d start to get a panic attack.
And so I’d just sit in this bathroom stall pretending I needed to take a shit as others would often knock on the door and wonder why I was taking so long. Luckily there were a few stalls so they eventually just used a different one.
And as I sat there pretending to take a shit but actually trying to control myself so i didn’t flip into a panic attack, i thought about how the fuck i found myself in this shitty situation (no pun intended).
I mean WTF!
I’d graduated at the top of my class in high school, finished an Ivy League university (Cornell) on the Dean’s list, had worked at the elite consulting firm, BCG… and then here I was at 37 years old doing a job that 25 year olds were doing and pretending to take a shit in the bathroom because I couldn’t hack it.
How did life descend this far down????
My experience with anxiety
So prior to 2014 I rarely ever felt anxiety. Didn’t even know what it felt like really.
I was just a pretty confident guy that never had any mental health issues. Had never been to a psychologist or therapist or anything.
And then boom…. in early 2014 I let a TMJ dentist in Vietnam drill the cusps down on my back teeth and my world was falling apart.
I was having lots of new ‘firsts’. For things like trying antidepressants for the first time (which I only did for less than a week).
Another one of those ‘firsts’ was this heavy anxiety that I described above.
Luckily, however, it went away on it’s own in 2015 as I recovered using my DIY splint experiments (which started with Starecta and then evolved).
And I was promoted 2x that year as my brain fog and anxiety lifted.
My anxiety cycled up and down with my structure
So as i’ve described in many other past posts my health cycled between good and bad numerous times between the years of 2016 - 2021.
Because I was experimenting with all types of splints and methods.
Mid 2020 was the next time that I would really feel strong anxiety again. I’d stupidly left a posterior open bite for almost a year and was at a company offsite where I needed to present something to the ~200 employees.
It was only a handful of slides but the old feeling of a panic attack started to set in.
When i was on stage i froze up. But luckily was able to stumble my way thru the short presentation because i had the crutch of the slides in front of me.
But i realized with that instance that i’d fucked myself up again. Because i hadn’t felt something that intense since 2014.
Now, I’m just never anxious
So i figured this stuff out for good in mid-2021 and have been on an upward slope ever since.
Now in 2024 I just never feel anxious about anything.
Even times when I probably should feel anxious I just don’t. It’s like i’m immune to anxiety. lol
For example I do a podcast and the old me would have wanted to write down lots of speaker notes, etc.
But these days my attitude is “Fuck it! let’s wing this shit!”
Because I know that my brain will stay cool in the clutch and just come up with the right thing to say.
What do I conclude from this?
I conclude that anxiety is a function of the health of your neurological system. Plain and simple.
I view that seeing a therapist to address it is just a crutch that will not make much of a difference long-term.
And trying to take pharmaceuticals is a temporary bandaid with lots of side effects.
Rather i am quite confident that if anyone used these biomechanics long enough.. they fix their anxiety. Period.
Because that is what i have done several times already.
And the shit worked like clockwork.